Colleague Doing Crossfit Produces Absolutely Woeful Looking Lunch

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact

Betoota Grove hospital supplies manager Kerri Colby (41) is known amongst her colleagues as The Meme That Walks due to her inability to function without coffee and non-stop talk about CrossFit.

Aware of the shit that gets talked about Crossfit fanatics, Colby seems to lean into the stereotype.

“We had to do 50 burpees at lunch, do you know what a burpee is?” Colby asked a co-worker 20 minutes ago.

“See if you can do one with me, come on, it will be fun!”

While most of Colby’s colleagues have no problem with her daily work-out recounts they draw the line at having to hear about or even look at the absolutely woeful lunches she produces day after day.

“It’s so simples [sic], just sweet potato, chicken breast and tumeric. I might have overdone the chicken but it gets blended anyway,” stated Colby as she cracked the veneer on the chicken slop.

“Sometimes I add a bit of pesto if I’m having it for dinner or for a treat.”

According to Colby’s co-workers, today’s bumblebee traybake is actually pretty mild for her, a claim they are able to prove with a discreetly kept spreadsheet of her most shocking lunches to date titled ‘What The Fuck Is Kerri Eating?’

“Last year’s winner was the microwaved rocket on a bed of brown rice with a couple of soy sauce fish,” stated one anonymouse coworker observing the meticulously kept spreadsheet.

“Ooh, this is the worst one! Monday, June 5th, 2017, a tin of chilli tuna baked into an egg. On a rainy day you can still smell it.”

“I mean, she looks great, she’s so healthy. But what’s the point of living forever if you’re going to keep eating that shit?”