Clover Moore Says Fuck It And Just Bans Cars

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After the announcement of further pedestrianization of Sydney's CBD, Lord Mayor Clover Moore has said fuck it and announced a complete ban on cars.

“Honestly, this has been a long time coming” said Clover.

“George Street, cycleways, light rail, footpath here and there. It's over. Get rid of the cars.”

Under the new plan, all vehicles would be banned from the City of Sydney, with motorists required to abandon their cars at the border and continue their journey on foot, by bike, or public transport.

Council documents reveal every road will be converted into a separated cycleway, including roads that already have separated cycleways.

“We’ve looked at the data and what Sydney needs is more bike lanes,” said Clover.

“If there is a piece of asphalt without a white bicycle painted on it, I consider that a personal failure.”

Entire streets are expected to be reorganised around cycling and walking, with Crown Street becoming six parallel bike lanes and Oxford Street reduced to one narrow strip where cars may apologise before turning around.

Parking spaces will become bike racks. Loading zones will become bike racks. Several bike racks will also be removed to make room for newer bike racks.

The Harbour Bridge is also expected to receive another cycleway.

“Could be wider,” said Clover.

Residents concerned about moving furniture, receiving deliveries or transporting children have been advised to fit in or fuck off.