Charity Might Have More Luck Getting Donations If Street Fundraisers Weren’t All Annoying Poms

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact

As the annual strategy meeting of a well known charity organisation drew to a close this week, the executive team outlined some sobering, yet not unexpected, market realities they must overcome if the charity wants to reach its donation targets. 

According to the latest plan, the organisation must follow one simple and aggressive strategy to capitalise on the Australian market.

“It won’t be popular, but if we get rid of every single Pommy street collector, we might trend in the right direction,” said Nile Lovell, Chief Strategy Office of the charity. 

Lovell, a Pom himself, was quick to defend the executive team, saying it wasn’t them who came up with the idea, but rather the countless rounds of customer research that kept coming back saying “annoying Pommy street collectors” were the number one reason donation dollars were slipping. 

It’s not yet known what or who they will be replaced with, however Lovell insists the executive have a plan. 

“We’re considering a number of options”

“So far the best one is to replace the Poms with those statues of dogs that have a coin slot in their head.” 

The Advocate understands that the executive team will come back together in a month to make a plan. 

More to come.