Captain Of Div 7 Corporate Mixed Touch Side Drops 900-Word Gripe In Team Group Chat About A Lack Of Commitment

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The captain of the Deloitte Betoota mixed touch side has today rocked the team group chat with a 900-word essay about standards, commitment, and what it truly means to be part of something bigger than yourself.

Josh Harrington, a Senior Consultant who has held the captaincy since the team's formation in early 2025, reportedly began typing at 9:47am before finally hitting send at 10:31am, a stretch of unbroken focus his direct manager says he has never witnessed during actual work hours.

The message, which sources say opened with "Hey guys and dolls, just want to get a few things off my chest," went on to address a number of grievances including poor training attendance, people leaving straight after games, a general unwillingness to stick around for team drinks and at least two players who have been found wanting in defence.

"We didn't sign up for this comp just to make up the numbers," read one passage, despite the team currently sitting last on the ladder with a minus-47 point differential.

Harrington is also understood to have used the phrases "buy in," "respect the singlet," and "this is bigger than any one person," all in reference to a fluoro yellow bib the team borrows from the competition organisers each Tuesday night.

The message was met with three thumbs-up reacts, one "Noted 👍" from a player who hasn't attended a game since Round 2, and complete radio silence from the remaining nine members.

At the time of press, Harrington was seen updating a shared Google Sheet titled "ATTENDANCE TRACKER — NO EXCUSES" as well as selected the worst pub in the area to have overpriced craft beer at after the game tonight.

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