Calling Someone 'Champ' To Be Banned Under New Hate Speech Laws

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT

It can be confirmed that not only is calling someone ‘champ’ now  banned under the government's new hate laws, but it will also be considered a category five level danger to social cohesion.

Laws to ban hate groups and establish a national gun buyback scheme have passed the Senate after the Labor government struck deals with the Liberals and Greens to legislate its response to the Bondi beach massacre.

The laws allow the minister to ban hate groups and to increase penalties for so called hate preachers who advocate or threaten violence. It will also expand powers to revoke or refuse visas for people with extremist views coming to Australia.

Though these new hate speech laws have been divisive, with some raising concerns about what kind of speech constitutes ‘hate speech’ and if it will impact protests, there is one portion of the doctrine that the nation can unanimously agree on - the banning of the most damning C word to call an Australian.

Champ.

Short for champion, non Aussies may confuse the slang for a term of endearment.

Unlike the C bomb, which can be either complimentary or insulting depending on what adjective is put in front of it (mad, sick, shit or dog), the word ‘champ’ can only ever be used in a negative way - with the most damning being an ‘alright champ.’

These new laws will now make it illegal to call someone a champ unless there’s proper cause of them being a dickhead.

If found guilty of calling a good bloke champ, the offender can incur a fine of up to $5000 and could even face six months jail time, depending on how scathing the tone is.

More to come.