Builder Stinging For The Day He Can Send His Apprentice To Do All His Mates’ Bullshit Jobs

TRACEY BENDINGER | Local News | Contact

After a hard day of physical labour, Jack Johnson was about to knock the top off an ice cold alcoholic beverage when an all too familiar text came through.

“Jacko!” the text started, “fancy coming round for a beer this arv? Maybe bring your tools, I’ve got an Ikea shelf I need your help with”

The message sender in question is one David Scully, an art dealer whose hands are smoother than a silk handkerchief, and a serial favour pest who only ever messages Johnson when he needs something handy done.

Speaking with The Advocate, Johnson explained how he cannot wait until he’s high up enough that he can palm off jobs like Scully’s to his little apprentices.

“Give it another year I reckon, then I’ll be sending out Les”

According to Johnson, he’s been his friendship group’s go-to handyman for 5 years, and he’s just about sick of it.

“Blokes like Scully just take the piss. He hasn’t got a practical bone in his body”

It’s understood that the requests from Scully are particularly annoying, considering he used to make fun of Johnson for doing a trade rather than a “real” degree at university.

“I can’t even half ass his jobs either because then he’ll tell everyone I’m a shit builder.”

“Anyway, he’ll be Young Les’s problem soon enough.”

More to come.