Brunswick Yuppie On The Verge Of Fainting In The Steam Room In Vain Attempt To Outlast Greek Senior

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

In an all too familiar scene Local Brunswick yuppie Zak Delaney has regrettably attempted the impossible, outlasting a Greek senior in the steam room.

Speaking to The Advocate from the Brunswick Baths, looking concerningly red and feeble, Delaney described the situation.

“Just once, I wanted to outlast or at least closely rival one of the old Greek codgers. I don’t know how they do it, it’s verging on unhealthy, I’m honestly not sure if I’ve ever seen some of those blokes actually leave the steam room.”

“I got into steaming after listening to a men's mental health podcast and I’m pretty sure it’s good for me but if I’m being completely honest at times it doesn’t feel so good,” he said.

Mr Delaney reiterated his admiration for the Greek seniors who were able to spend an exceedingly lengthy amount of time in the steam room. Although he wasn’t sure that the respect was mutual.

“Sometimes I’ll sneakily bring my airpods in, you're not supposed to but it’s way better than sitting with your thoughts. One time an old boy pointed at my airpods and grumbled so I won’t be doing that again.”

The Advocate attempted to reach out to the Greek fellas in the steam room but were unsuccessful in dragging them out. After hours of waiting it was thought that a high ranking senior was about to leave the room but he was just having a stretch.

More to come.