“That Band Is So Mainstream! I’m Into [2nd Most Popular Band]”

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

An arvo down at the park took a serious turn today as professional beard guy Gregory Guest (28) revealed he is a bit more Valiant than Mustang.

A staple of the rough-around-the-edges but violent-in-the-middle watering hole The Betoota Grace Of Court Hotel, Guest can often be spotted at the pub giving people tips on how to play the pokies or drinking with his mates who have had dreads since before it was proper weird.

When one of his friend’s put on a bit of easy listening California rock band the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Guest then made a scene.

“Are you serious? Those fucking fakers! If you want a real band mate, I mean a real band, Faith No More. Google it.”

Guest then started on a 40 minute rant about how Faith No More was the superior Californian rock band when it came to incorporating rapping and covering songs by more successful black artists.

“Three words, Mike Fucking Patton. Google him. Mr Bungle, Peeping Tom, you know he has the biggest vocal range in music right? Google it, I’m telling you, are any of you pricks writing this down? Or are you just happy to be willfully ignorant of real fucking music mate?”