For 23-year-old Jackson Kleist, it’s not every day you get to live like a king.

Occasionally the base-wage earning property manager will be treated to a bit of cocaine, free-of-charge, when his 62-year-old boss sells a tidy two-bedder for over three million.

Occasionally, the bus driver will give him that ‘I-didn’t-see-anything’ nod when his GoCard declines on the bus to work.

And sometimes, he’ll pony up the confidence to steal $30 worth of seafood from a local big two supermarket.

“I’ve just gotta find out what veggies are selling for the cheapest” he says.

“It’s usually carrots, or unwashed potatoes”

But today, it’s brown onions.

While being served by an equally financially-locked-out and apathetic millennial working in the deli, Jackson boldly asks for a Christmas-day-sized serving of prawns.

“Yep” he says confidently, like an actual adult who owns property and has a decent private health fund.

“No. The most expensive ones. That’s the ones I want to buy today”

The deli worker, who probably knows what he’s up to, but doesn’t care because she also can’t afford to drink more than three schooners a weekend outside her weekly budget as metropolitan renter, gives him a kilo and a half, but charges for just a kilo.

Between the counter and the self-checkout, Jackson scoops up a 5-pack of 2 minute udon so as to not look suspicious, and peels off the barcode sticker from the deli.

“Fuck yeah” he says, as the heist briefly takes his mind off the fact that he will most likely be blamed for the imminent housing bubble explosion, because he was too busy apparently buying avocados.


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