Oh No. America Might Tear Up Our $368 Billion Deal For 8 Pointless Submarines That Won’t Arrive For 30 Years

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The nation has woken up to some devastating news today.

On top of the passing of music icon and Beach Boys legend Brian Wilson, Australia has learnt that we may no longer be a part of an AUKUS deal.

Shockingly, President Donald Trump and America are contemplating giving the middle finger to one of its closest allies – right after shooting at reporters and cameraman from one of its closest allies.

In the wake of the new ‘America First Agenda,’ President Trump has announced that he is thinking up the AUKUS defence agreement.

The agreement was signed to much fanfare a few years ago when the former US President didn’t remember the name of the Aussie guy he was talking to, and centred around Australia paying $368 billion Australian yen for a handful of submarines.

Those 8 submarines are still projected to arrive in like 20 years time (if we are lucky), and are set to cost an eye-watering amount of money for a country that can’t protect women from being killed by their partners or former partners.

Trump’s announcement comes a week or two after we told the US to take a hike over doubling our defence spending (aka doubling the amount of money we give to American arms manufacturers), and is probably a blatant effort to force at least a few hundred billion out of the public coffers.

While the submarines are essentially completely useless if the likes of China decided to invade, the war hawks in the media and defence industry are crying red alert over the potential break up of AUKUS.

More to come.