Number Of Weirdos In Australia At Record Highs After Months Of Homeschooling

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

Just when you thought it was safe to go outside!

Initially, his proposed protocols to combat COVID-19 left many unsure if they were able to get a haircut or why boot camp classes got a special shout out, but we seem to be past the worst of it, and schools are set to go back full-time tomorrow.

For this reason, a troubling new trend has emerged as many parents turned to homeschooling, a course the Bureau of Statistics is reporting has already seen a huge spike in the number of the nation’s weirdos.

“They still got to socialise, I enrolled them in weekend drama,” stated one mum/teacher, as if drama is going to make their kid any more fucking normal.

“I’m keeping my family safe and raising a free thinker. Win, win.”

Measures have already been taken to reduce the amount of homeschooled children such as reducing access to gateway behaviour including water births and ethical lollies.

Perhaps the greatest concern of all has come from every political parties who have grave concerns that if instructing reluctant teenagers on how to appreciate a play written 400 years ago stops being seen as education, they may no longer have morons to vote for them.