LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Prospective homeowners are in for an absolute treat as the coalition government is finally doing something about record house prices by introducing the Religious Discrimination Bill.
Coming out to rave reviews from religious organisations such as Catholic schools, the aptly name Religious Discrimination Bill allows religious organisations to fire employees on the basis of seemingly irrelevant things such as their sexuality.
While this may lead to a nationwide shortage of triple threat drama teachers at religious schools, it is clear the right to discriminate against queer people is what the people want and not some action on housing affordability, climate change, ministerial corruption, sexual assaults in parliament, sports rorts, foreign affairs, JobKeeper mismanagement, federal ICAC or cough misinformation.
At the time of writing, the average Australian house price sits just short of $1 million at $994,579 meaning that owning a home has become increasingly difficult for many Australians, especially those who just lost their job for being gay.
With these figures, it is unlikely that a Millennial Mary and Joseph would even be able to afford a night in the manger (especially during Christmas) but the coalition government is committed to follow Jesus’s message of love by making sure gay people can get the sack for being gay.
“It’s good to see the government looking out for those of faith,” stated one local priest, who would prefer to remain anonymous while living rent-free in luxurious church-owned property in Betoota.
“You can’t be openly gay in your private time and expect employment in a religious institution.”
The Priest then went to lengths to explain to our reporting team that he is sick of the discrimination Catholics face, and say it has been a leading cause for him having to constantly move from diocese to diocese his entire career – after being chased out of every town he’s ever worked in.
“First there was the witch hunt Royal Commission, then they allowed sinners to marry their housemates… Now they won’t let us decide that we don’t wanna hire them”
