Mum Fucked Up And Bought Diet Cordial Again

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A giant ice cold glass of obscure tasting orange fruit crush has confirmed that mum has accidentally thrown the 90% less sugar version of the family’s favourite cordial in the shopping trolley again.

What is yet another slip up in a Sunday grocery run is now something that everyone is going to have to cop on the chin until this particular bottle has been finished.

“Mum. This stuff isn’t nearly as good as the normal cordial” says the oldest daughter and most whinge-prone, Sal.

Mum, who seems to think like this is a perfectly forgivable mistake and actually not really that big of an issue at all, doesn’t give much in response.

“Did I? [haha]” she says.

“Whoops. Oh well. Probably better for your teeth”

This sense of rage felt by the entire family, who aren’t allowed soft drink and very rarely are exposed to any form of indulgent sweetness, is lost on mum – who doesn’t really drink cordial.

Her second oldest, Kylie, who just spent 10 minutes making a tumbler sized glass full of ice cubes, isn’t going to let it slip.

“Mum this is like the time you bought the cheapo coco pops. You’ve gotta look on the packaging. This stuff tastes like tinny water”

Mum, now irritating that this conversation has lasted this long, threatens to pour the whole thing down the sink and stop purchasing any cordial effective immediately.

“Oh you don’t like? Fine. Here give it to me”

Her threats are met with a half-hearted protest, as her kids accept that mixing the diet cordial with soda water is kind of like fanta.