Melbourne Dive Bar Under Question For Not Having A Toilet That Looks Like Something Out Of Trainspotting

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT

The legitimacy of Melbourne dive bar ‘The Lib’ has reportedly been questioned this weekend when it was discovered that the bathrooms were a little too clean.

This harsh accusation is said to have occurred last Saturday night after an elderly punk was seen exiting one of the men’s bathrooms with a look of disgust.

As a nearby glassy reached for a mop and queried what foul disaster could have elicited such a reaction, the man announced that the toilet was ‘so clean you could eat off it’ and accused everyone in the bar of being a poser.

Our reporter Effie spoke to the neatly dressed owner Alfonse, who insists it’s a real punk bar.

“The old coot kept saying that all the graffiti and stickers were fake”, says Alfonse, “apparently, the toilet should have looked like a petri dish for every illness known to mankind.”

“And that the toilet paper holder should have been broken.”

“Didn’t realise it wasn’t punk to be clean!”

Pushing open a slightly faded red door, Alfonse gestures to a toilet that admittedly looks a little too white.

“Don’t give me that look.”

“I was a real punk back in my day. I loved the Sex Pistols.”

More to come.