Local Bloke Figures He May As Well Finally Install Software Update

EFFIE BATEMAN | Brisbane | CONTACT

Staring dead-eyed at his Xbox controller, a puzzled Matt Lewis is shocked to discover that he just might be sick of playing CoD.

The former barback had initially thought he’d relish the time off  from work but has quickly realised that his favourite activities just aren’t as much fun now that he can do them whenever he wants.

Letting out his seventeenth sigh of exasperation that day, Matt floats aimlessly around his apartment, trying to think of something to do other than rewatching The Office again, which at this point he could probably recite verbatim.

He attempts to do some half-assed pushups but quickly gives up in favour of collapsing on the floor and picking at a piece of lint on the carpet.

“This is fucking shit”, he mumbles, before resigning to his fate and picking up his laptop, which hasn’t been turned off in over a week, “FUCKING SHIT.”

Spying the software update notification he’d fucked off 367 days in a row, Matt figures he’s got nothing better to do and lets the machine have what it wants.

More to come.