“It’s Just A Bit Of Hedge Trimming” Says Government In Defence Of Logging Great Koala National Park

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The Government has today responded to growing calls for them to sort their shit out when it comes to the Great Koala National Park (GKNP) – a natural haven on the Mid-North Coast of NSW.

After revealing plans to rename the Great Koala National Park to the Below Average Largely De-Forested National Park in an effort to manage expectations around widespread logging, the NSW State Government has today announced some more clever PR management.

“Look, I think we need to re-frame the way we are looking at this whole thing,” said the NSW Premier today.

“Rather than getting all emotive and calling it the logging of the GKNP, let’s look at it as a bit of a hedge trimming.”

“You know what I mean? Just a bitta trimming of the loose vegetation and overgrown trees to tidy the place up a bit,” said Minns.

Minns’ comments come as the government refuses to confirm when their vague promise to stop logging in the invaluable biodiversity sanctuary will actually come into effect.

“And this is all Glady’s fault,” he laughed.

“She hasn’t been in charge for like 3 years, but just remember that she’s the Koala hater, not us,” he continued.

“Besides we’ve cordoned off plenty of areas in the GKNP as free from logging,” he said, referencing the gargantuan 5% of the park that has been saved from logging.

“So for the time being let’s just change our perspective a little bit.”

When asked about how the NSW Forestry Corporation is somehow losing tens of millions of taxpayer dollars for ripping the timber out of places like the GKNP (for free), the interview was terminated.

One of the groups behind the push to protect the GKNP, the aptly named Koala company, have today come out to urge the general population to sign the petition to protect the park.

“Minns knows the groundswell is happening, be part of it and whack your name on it would ya: https://koala.com/en-au/bearminns?utm_source=betootaadvocate&utm_medium=article&utm_campaign=savethekoalas”

More to come.