Elon Musk Wakes Up From Most Recent Ketamine Binge With Sinking Feeling He’s Done Something Stupid

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT

REAL DONALD TRUMP IS IN THE EPSTEIN FILES: As he stirs awake on his couch with one nostril clogged and his head pounding, Elon Musk, 53, is hit with a familiar but deeply unsettling sensation: the creeping dread that he’s done something really fucking stupid.

It’s not an unfamiliar feeling – but this time, it carries a weight. A sense that whatever he’s done might be irreversible. That he’s set something into motion that can’t be walked back.

And by ‘irreversible’, he doesn’t mean in the moral or ethical sense. Not by normal people’s standards, anyway. He means he’s pissed someone off. Someone with power.

But who?

“Fuck… what did I do this time?” he mutters, as he desperately tries to rewind the last 24 hours.

But it’s no use. Everything is a blur as his ketamine saturated brain fails to latch onto any tangible memory.

His phone, discarded on the floor beside him, flares to life.

Seventy-two messages. In the last hour.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck fuck fuck”, he moans, his head in his hands.

“Someone’s mwad at meeeeee.”

More to come.