EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT

A man whose defining personality trait is his job title has attempted to join a conversation, it’s reported.

Steve Matthews, a ‘Big Four’ accountant, had been invited to a house party by his well-meaning missus but has reportedly had a hard time fitting in due to his thinly veiled superiority complex.

Known for being a pretty big deal at his firm, Steve found himself peacocking in an effort to impress his girlfriend’s mates.

“I felt like I was invisible”, says Steve, as he glumly swigs from a Foster’s beer.

“Every time I went to say something I was interrupted.”

“Like I’m trying to give you tax tips? That shit’s not free!”

As Steve sullenly watched on as men he deemed beneath him elicited laughs from the crowd, he became hell-bent on chucking in at least one witty anecdote.

When the group started sharing stories related to alcohol-induced stupidity, Steve says he’d finally thought of something funny when the conversation swiftly changed to a more somber topic.

“I was absolutely gutted”, says Steve.

“I tried steering the conversation back a few times.”

“You’d be surprised how hard it was to segue a conversation about death to the time I blacked out and shit myself.”

“But I did it!”

Unfortunately, Steve’s story didn’t get the response he had hoped for, with one partygoer suggesting he ‘read the fucking room.’

More to come.

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