Alan Jones Finally Arrested After Expending His Political Usefulness To The Liberal Party And Australian Media

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

Australia has woken up to some Monday morning news that has to be seen to be believed.

Not the Wallabies winning a second game in a row and absolutely pumping the hapless Welsh in their cauldron of rugby, but media figure Alan Jones being arrested by NSW Police.

In proof that fact can be stranger than fiction, the controversial identity was escorted by police from his Circular Quay home just before 8am this morning.

The arrest comes after a 9 month long police investigation, which came off the back of a Sydney Morning Herald investigation last year.

The charges relate to Jones allegedly indecently assaulting young men.

NSW Police are set to give a statement on the matter this morning.

However a senior Liberal staffer has explained to The Advocate why the arrest that nobody ever thought was coming, finally did.

“Mate, I never thought we’d see the day,” explained the staffer who was once a promising rugby talent but moved into politics, who spoke to The Advocate under the condition of anonymity.

“But Alan has expended his political usefulness to us, and large commercial media organisations.”

“He just doesn’t move the dial anymore.”

“And in life, things never stay still.”

“So it was time for Alan, and it’s time for us to pretend that we never really liked the guy but just played ball because we had to.”

More to come.