AFL Opening Round Only Slightly Less Confusing Than Hook Turns

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The Victorian Football League is today yet to comment on the incredibly weird event that was ‘Opening Round.’

Renamed from Round Zero or whatever it used to be, the refreshed ‘Opening Round’ left many scratching their heads over the course of the weekend.

Aimed at trying to attract and Queensland and New South Wales audiences, the idea behind the round revolved around taking a couple of games north.

Instead of packing out the MCG with rabid round one fans to bring the hype, the season was supposed to kick off with games in Brisbane, the Gold Coast and Sydney.

However, thanks to Tropical Cyclone Alfred and Ex-Tropical Cyclone Alfred, the Opening Round saw a grand total of 2 games played.

“Very odd,” said one local Victorian Football fan here in Betoota.

“Only slightly less confusing than those hook turns they have down there in Melbourne.”

Made a relic of the past by the rest of the country in the 1940s, hook turns are still a big thing in Melbourne, with drivers going left to turn right.

However, unlike hook turns, the new opening round is something that Victorians aren’t exactly proud of.

“Yeah, hook turns are a quirky little Malban (sic) thing,” said local Richmond supporter Dustin Cotchin.

“But this Opening Round bullshit is doing my head in.”

“It’s been like 6 months, give me some fucking footy.”

More to come.