Bloke Shopping For First TV In 10 Years Not Even Going To Bother Asking What The Fuck OLED Means

KEITH T. DENNET | New South | CONTACT

Lumbering around the West Betoota homemakers centre this morning, Corey Hughes is having fun emptying the contents of his wallet.

A new resident of the housing estate in West Betoota Lakes, Corey has been forced to undertake the sizable task of buying new furniture and appliances, stuff that is big enough to match the huge rooms of his sparkling off the plan home.

After dropping $4,000 on a new nine-seater couch from Harvey Norman, Corey walked into JB Hi-Fi to buy a big new television, one that won’t look like an iPhone screen when placed in his 8m x 7m lounge room.

Having not purchased a new idiot box in over 10 years, Corey tells The Advocate he’s excited to see what new marketing mambo jumbo the TV companies have come up with.

“Last time I bought a TV, I remember curved screens were the thing. I almost bought one too, until I sniffed out it was a jolly, and I just went with an LCD.”

“Who knows what they’ll try and flog me today!”

Glazing his eyeballs with the wall of screens playing episodes of David Attenborough, or blue-rays of Avatar, Corey simply stood back and waited for the obligatory JB Hi-Fi salesperson to begin his rant.

“Mate, I’m looking for a new tele, are LCDs still the go?” Corey prompted, as a 20 year old kid in skinny jeans and spacers walked towards him.

“Haha, I’m afraid not my friend, let’s start with what you want to use it for? Movies? Gaming?,” answered the skinny jean salesman, enthusiastic to make a decent commission.

“Ahhh like Netflix and stuff. And I watch a lot of footy…” Corey replied.

“Lets start with an OLED, they stand for ‘Organic Light Emitting Diode’ which means each pixel is individually lit,” waffled the salesman.

“And you probably need something with a VIDAA U5 platform for seamless streaming and content. Trust me, you can really tell the difference…”

More to come.