Bloke At Event With An Open Buffet Unable To Stop Gorging Himself Like An Unsupervised Labrador

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local bloke has reached a new level of piggery at a networking lunch today, that has not gone unnoticed by his peers, it’s reported.

Tristan Reynolds, an analyst for tech accelerator startup hub ‘Salmonburners’, is alleged to have been invited to the lunch meetup under the guise of meeting other members of the robust coworking community, but appeared to be much more interested in the free finger food available – albeit, a bit too interested.

Onlookers report that Tristian ‘did not stop eating’ for the entire duration of the lunch, and could be seen going on for seconds, thirds, fourths and even fifth servings.

“I don’t think he spoke to a single person”, says the membership manager, Stacey, shaking her head, “which was the whole point of this lunch!”

“He ate so much, I think he even choked on his food at one point.”

Gil, who is one of the startup tech companies trying to get his solar powered shoes for dogs funded, says he barely got to eat anything as Tristian had wiped it all clean.

“They mustn’t be paying him enough.”

More to come.