Bloke Collecting Neighbour’s Mail While They’re Away Definitely Won’t Hold Them Against A Lamp To Read What’s Inside

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

An old French Quarter codger is collecting mail this next fortnight for some neighbours down the rue, who’ve packed their Honda Odyssey and pointed it east for the school holidays.

Little do the family know that Graham Rolland, a retired 73-year-old school teacher, will be holding their private mail up to a lamp in his darkened study to see what the family is up to.

Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon in the bistro of the French Quarter Club, Graham said he simply can’t help himself and was born nosey.

“Don’t you think it’s interesting to see what other people are up to? How much their credit card debt is? How close the bank is to putting them out on the street? How much water they use? How much gas or electricity?” he said.

He smiled and looked out the window to the rainy street.

“Did you know the Jenkins family at 45 Rue de Chat-Noir? They’re not in good shape financially.”

Our reporter nodded and made a note not to include that in the story.

“I know because I’m collecting their mail. I take it into my study and hold it against the lamp to see what’s inside. They’re also behind on their car payments. I didn’t know they took out a loan from a third-party provider to buy that Honda. That’s pretty grim if you ask me. Financing a used car should be illegal. If you can’t afford an ex-cab Camry or something, you belong on the bus,” he added.

“They’re having me collect their mail while they’re away. By the sounds of it, they should try to enjoy themselves because this’ll probably be the last holiday they have for a while.”

Detective Inspector Charlie Duncan from Queensland Police (French Quarter Station) confirmed to The Advocate that reading someone else’s mail is very illegal and that Mr Rolland should expect a visit from someone from the station directly.

More to come.