“This Is Good Beer Drinking Weather” Says Man Of Essentially Any Weather Pattern Imaginable

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local WhatsApp group of thirty-something men has again demonstrated the elasticity of meteorological reasoning required to justify a trip to the pub, after it’s members reached a unanimous conclusion that today’s conditions were perfect for consuming ice cold schooners of beer.

While residents of Betoota Heights enjoyed mild sunshine and a light breeze this afternoon, their mates down off the mountain in our town’s bohemian French Quarter were quick to note it was overcast and spitting rain. Both factions, however, arrived at the same result.

“This is beer weather,” confirmed Heights resident Scott Scunt, who is gainfully employed as one of the cheapest tilers in town.

“Crisp air, bit of sun. You’d be mad not to. This is what the ANZACs put the dog up the Japanese and the Germans for. They would’ve been dreaming of being back at home with their boys getting a charge on but no, they had their own problems to sort out like not getting shot.”

Within minutes, his counterpart in the river districts, Nick Johnson, replied with a photo of a ranging Diamantina River in full flood.

“Also beer weather. Too wet for yard work. Only place to go is the pub.”

The group chat, spanning twelve men across different parts of town, reportedly escalated into a rapid consensus. Each weather report, whether sunny, drizzly, humid, or dust, was interpreted as an invitation to begin an evening of binge drinking.

Local publican, Terry O’Connell of the Royal Lord Railway Courthouse Commercial Hotel, said he has stopped following the Bureau of Meteorology altogether.

“No matter what the forecast says, they’ll find a reason,” he told The Advocate.

“Sunny day? Beer weather. Raining? Beer weather. Hailstorm? Also beer weather. They only need the smallest excuse.”

By late afternoon, half the group was already on their second schooner, while the others promised they were just finishing something up before heading down.

Others send apologies.

More to come.