Barnaby Suggests Aussie Farmers Try Washing Their Cars In An Effort To Bring On Rain

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

As most of Australia remains gripped by drought, the Member for New England Barnaby Joyce has a unique but strikingly obvious solution to solve the crisis and immediately unleash the heavens on the parched landscape: wash your car.

“I reckon it will work for sure,” Barnaby said as he selected a large bottle of Wash’n’Wax from the shelf at the otherwise-empty Repco.

“Although not backed up by so-called ‘scientific data’, thousands of Australians have iron-clad personal anecdotes about rain occurring immediately after washing their car, and you just can’t ignore proof like that.”

“I am calling on all farmers to immediately get out there and use the last of their water supplies to wash their cars and bring on the rain.”

“Get the tractor out of the shed too. Old Valiant sitting in a paddock? Sure, why not; every drop helps. Get the whole family out there; your wife, your mistress, your love child, everybody can chip in”.

Barnaby added that when the rain inevitably fell, farmers would be wise to try to save some of the water to reinvest it into additional car-washing to bring on even more rain.

“But don’t get too carried away, we don’t want to flood the place. I reckon about 3 car washes to every 10 hectares should do it. Now, where are the buckets and sponges?”