Barnaby Joyce Reveals His True Calling As The Bottom Maths Class Teacher In A Regional High School

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A visibly exhausted and short-tempered Barnaby Joyce has this week revealed his true calling, after delivering an unexpected but very explosive spray at this own dog during a tense ABC television interview last night.

While growing increasingly redder and easily provoked, the former Deputy Prime Minister looked exactly like a regional high school maths teacher who has been delegated the fuck-up class.

The interview, with ABC's Sarah Ferguson, was taking place on his own verandah in the NSW New England - crossing to a live nationwide TV audience through a grainy video stream that was clearly being filmed on an iPhone camera.

It was during a half-hearted attempt to defend Pauline Hanson that Barnaby exploded with a crisp and powerful 'SIDDOWN!' towards his dog, who was apparently yapping in the background.

This old-fashioned method of disciplining of an unruly canine has caused blood-curdling disgust amongst ABC viewers, many of whom are the type of people that think it is okay to bring a dog into a cafe or restaurant.

It is not clear whether or not Joyce had powered through a bottle of grange before the interview, or whether or not his explosive temper is related to healthier lifestyle choices like possibly quitting cigarettes - whatever it is, it reminded the vast majority of regional and suburban Australia of that one veteran high school teacher that was always in the TAB.

Mr Joyce abruptly broke away from the interview twice to deal with the off-camera interruption, showcasing an impressive disciplinarian tone that is wasted in Federal Politics.

Instead, this voice should be used to rein in local townie kids who keep interrupting the education of others because they don't think they need to learn shit because their cousin can get them a job in the mines apparently.

As a former chartered accountant, this late-50s career change could very well become a reality for the Member For New England, all he would need to do is return to UNE for a Dip-Ed.

And as his new leader Pauline Hanson continues to drag his reputation into the mud of irredeemable racism, bigotry and conspiracy - Barnaby Joyce may very well be considering this rural Coach Carter rebrand.