Barnaby Joyce Rejects New Sex Icon Status

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has today spoken out about his undeniable rebrand in the eyes of the nation’s women, and some men.

Following news that the three-times-elected Member For New England is still a bit of a rooter, and evidently still firing hollow points, at 50-years-of-age, there have been numerous requests for centre-fold photo shoots from leading Australian women’s magazines.

Dubbed ‘St George Clooney’ after his time spent working on the banks of the Balonne River in South-West Queensland, Mr Joyce has today publicly addressed his reluctance to embrace ‘full sex icon status’.

“I reject this new sex icon status” he said.

“As much as I appreciate the perfume-scented letters and lipstick kisses I have been receiving at the Tamworth electoral office, I would appreciate it if I didn’t have to blush so much”

“You guys know how red I get”

This whirlwind rise to silver fox sex bomb comes after the Deputy Prime Minister reportedly laid the blame of his recent affair with a staffer Vikki Campion on his drunken decision to lather his neck with a wipe-on-sex appeal sachet.

“I am just a conservative regional man trying to uphold family values. So much so that I decided to have two families” he said.