Awesome: Price Of Everything Starts Going Through The Roof Because Some Fuckheads Decide To Start A War

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

In some fantastic news for ordinary people around the country who don't care much for the geopolitical worries of the world, the price of pretty much everything is about to go up.

With fuel already skyrocketing, the price of groceries and other everyday items are also set to follow - as the monopolies who own the major businesses around the country sense an opportunity to mesh a bit of a price-gouging into 'logistical' price hikes.

Interest rates will start ticking up nicely again next Tuesday, with experts saying a rise in May is also pretty much inevitable, given the reserve bank has no other power over the economy than jacking up interest rates to punish ordinary people because the government refuses to intervene in the inflation driven by international factors.

"Yeah, pretty stoked hey," said one local Betoota Resident from the Ampol servo in Betoota Plains.

"Feels like it might be my last Maxibon 2fa special for a while," sighed the young mortgage holder.

"I look forward to them going up to the sweet deal of 2 for $11 in a month's time."

The bloke who lives on the edge of town says he doesn't really know too much about what's going on over in the Middle East and Iran, but he does know he's not that keen on just watching a percentage of his pay cheque just disappear becuase a couple of fuckheads decided to start a war.

"Mate, can we just go like a few years without someone starting some shit," he sighed.

"I swear to god."

Our reporter winced.

More to come.