Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
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Local Man Lets Out Involuntary Moan Of Pleasure As Scissors Glide Effortlessly Through Wrapping Paper
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Humming a happy little tune to himself, local man Jake Gosford whips out a pair of
Apprentice Commits Social Faux Pas By Rocking Up With A Dog That Isn’t From The Bull Terrier Family
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT An apprentice has today committed a serious social faux pas by rocking up to the worksite
“Mate, How Much Have You Had To Drink Tonight?” Asks Genuinely Concerned Bouncer
KENT REGINALD | Nightlife| CONTACT A local bouncer and all-round top bloke is genuinely concerned about how much a punter
Local Only Child Shows Off By Using Adult Words Like “Perhaps” And “Et Cetera”
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local only child of two high school teachers has today ramped up her hyper-mature
Dolphin Looking Forward To Seeing What New Reusable Plastic Bags Taste Like
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact One of the seven bottlenose dolphins that calls the town’s only saltwater bore
Militant Non-Smoker Playfully Changes His Tune Over A Couple Cold Ones
Militant non-smoker Nick Smith (28) seems to have relaxed his stance on casual durries as he and his mates
Drop Saw Next Door Harmonises Beautifully With Local Kookaburra An Hour Before Alarm Clock
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The trials and tribulations of living in a leafy suburban Queensland enclave were felt by all
Local Boxing Gym Offering Classes On That Oootz Oootz Noise People Make While Warming Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local boxing gym, that has recently expanded their services to people who don’t actually
Boring Town Decides To Make Up A Rumour About A Panther
After over 12 months of research, a study by the Black Panther Sightings Organisation (BPSO) has confirmed that there must
Toddler Somehow Finds Most Dangerous Household Item Within Seconds Of Leaving High Chair
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Local woman Beth Roberts has attempted to baby proof her house as much as possible but
Husband Patiently Waiting For Wife To Clean Bathroom Before He Trims His Beard
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | CONTACT Feeling a strange tingling sensation on his face, local man Henry Wills is suddenly struck with
Local Man Enjoys Return To Making Up Bullshit Excuses As To Why He Won’t Be At Training
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Bradley Thomas has revealed to The Advocate that things are truly back to normal for him.