Word Of The Week: Apricity (The Beautiful Warmth Of The Winter Sun)
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT With Naplan scores dropping and literacy seemingly slipping away in an age of autocorrect, The Betoota
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“Ummm… Just Wait. Is That It?” Says Bloke Who Can Apparently Play The Guitar
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a night a jolly storytelling, eating and drinking – a local bloke has decided to pull
Kitchen Reno Finally Complete After Mum Updates Ice Cream Bucket Of Rotting Vegetable Scraps
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact As the power point faceplates were fitted and the fridge was wheeled back in, Mum
Scientists Confirm Loudmouth 18-Year-Old On First Night Out Actually Is Bulletproof
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A cocky young bloke who’s been walking around the pub like he’s bulletproof, actually
Local Woman Unsure If It’s Her Womanly Intuition Speaking Or Just Trust Issues Again
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE |CONTACT Feeling that all too familiar pit of fleeting despair, a nervous Georgia Statham finds herself pausing
Man Conquers Machine As Local Punter Snares Back-To-Back Features
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact When Jimmy Barnes stood in front of that burning canefield and scream his little
iPad Wins Father Of The Year Award
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An East Betoota Tablet is said to be ‘ecstatic’ with news coming in from
Rite Of Passage Begins As Teenage Girl Stumbles Upon First Marilyn Monroe Quote
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE |CONTACT Becky Nates is not a little girl anymore. Well, she doesn’t think she is anyway.
“Panthers Will Choke In Finals” Says Bloke Who Thought Shorten Was A Sure Bet
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With only three rounds of regular season footy remaining, couch commentators are coming out with the
Arts Student Lies And Says He’s Doing Commerce Subjects In Generous Father’s Day Present
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Sorry advertising, but someone already got Dad exactly what he wanted this Father’s Day. Betoota
Millennial Suffering Festival Withdrawal Stands In The Sun For 30mins To Buy $12 Beer
FRANKIE DeGROOT | Local News | Contact 2021 has been another rough for Absinthe Carlsson, 19. The self-confessed Festival Fiend has
Man Starting On That Minimalism Journey Admits He Can Probably Chuck Those Unused Condoms
BEAU RIVERS | Local News | Contact Cleaning out his overpriced and undersized Kogarah apartment, local man Jack Derrin (27), has today
Tourism Australia Quietly Drops Victoria As A Destination
BEAU RIVERS | Local News | Contact Victoria has today been quietly dropped from all Tourism Australia (TA) publications, as the southern