Government Under Fire For Offering Bonus Bets During Census
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Federal Government has tonight been forced to defend a controversial feature of the national census.
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Fellow World Leaders Give Scotty The Controller That’s Not Plugged In
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In a final humiliation on the world stage, Prime Minister Scott Morrison was spotted playing Nintendo
Local Man Spends Entire Family Dinner Debunking Click Bait Article Parents Saw On Internet
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT Gritting his teeth, a local bloke figures he’s got at least thirty minutes before his
Kebab Shop Guy Could Fuck You Up
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the nation’s drunk idiots has found that the men employed in
Local Woman Channels Her Inner Barefoot Investor By Refusing To Look At Bank Account Until She Gets Paid
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT A local woman has today informed our reporter of some very helpful money-saving tips that
Mum Welcomes Home Son With 40 Gallon Drum Of Spag Bol And A Metre Slab Of Caramel Slice
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Women’s Weekly cookbook is getting a workout this morning, as an enthusiastic
Bloke Huffs At 15 Minute Wait For A Haircut In Front Of Barber That Waited 15 Weeks To Open
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local fuckwit and fade enthusiast has displayed sheer arrogance this afternoon, chucking a
Unprompted Child Informs Complete Stranger Of Embarrassing Personal Information About Parents
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT If there’s one thing local woman Brea Perry simultaneously loves and hates about working with
Absolute Pest Buys A Harmonica
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In bad news for everyone with ears, local pest Chris Tripp has taken his dickory to
“Guess Who [Out Of The 7.9 Billion People On Planet Earth] I Ran Into Today?!” Asks Girlfriend
A local woman has just asked her boyfriend a question with literally an infinite amount of answers and appears to
Australian Cricketers Admit They’ve Been Screening Scotty’s Calls For A Week Now
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT As the Prime Minister of Australia desperately searches for any kind of win or valuable result
RSL Recoups Pandemic Losses After Two Minutes Of Reopened Pokies
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT There’s no denying the recent lockdowns have been hard on businesses of all shapes and
Father Of The Bride Treats Entire Wedding To The First Draft Of His Autobiography
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The entire guest list at a South Betoota wedding ceremony have been made aware that the