Australia Feeling Like The 1990s With A Return To Long-Term Federal Government, Ciggies And Asbestos

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With the imminent social media ban now less than a month away, Australia is starting to return to that warm pre-Olympics glow of the mid 1990s.

Not only are we beginning to dominate international track and field events in the lead up to the 2032 games, but the nation is also being led by a long-term majority Federal government.

After three decades of revolving door leadership spills amongst the two major parties, the idea of having the same Prime Minister for long than 18 months is a unfamiliar, yet refreshing, throwback to days gone by.

On top of this, pub beer gardens and house parties are starting to smell like tobacco smoke again, as a booming cigarette blackmarket seems to have brainwashed the entire nation into completely forgetting 50-years of public health messaging.

But it's not just ciggies that we have successfully saved from extinction, the highly carcinogenic fibrous silicate mineral known as asbestos is also making a comeback!

Several schools in South Australia remain closed as the number of public education sites across the state that are linked to an asbestos contamination scare has risen above 350.

The substance was found in coloured sand, which in itself is very 1990s.

This follows a similar public health disaster in Sydney early last year, where asbestos was found in the garden mulch of multiple city parklands in the lead up to the Mardi Gras.

The 2024 Sydney asbestos crisis was triggered by the January 2024 discovery of asbestos in the parklands surrounding the recently opened Rozelle Interchange. It was then revealed that the same mulch had been used all over the city.

Nobody really knows how or why this toxic substance came to be mixed in with the woodchip, and everyone just kind of ignored the scandal and hoped the council would quietly get rid of it.

Ultimately, several off-site events surrounding the Mardi Gras parade were cancelled and nobody ever spoke about it again.

But, like ciggies, and a recognisable long-term Prime Minister, asbestos is back!

The nation is now patiently waiting to see if we will be allowed to bring our own eskys into the stadium to watch the Ashes this summer.