Australia Expected To Rack Up Even More Golds If IOC Finally Includes 4-Square Handball

MONTY BENFICA | Amusements | CONTACT

Calls from the Australian sporting community continue to grow as the demand for 4-square handball to be included in the Olympics grows.

Australians, who have long dominated the hallowed asphalt courts of playgrounds across the nation, are hoping to transform their  year 6 mastery into Olympic glory.

“Mate, this is what we’ve been waiting for our whole lives,” said Brett King (31), a former handball legend.

“I’ve been training since Year 3 for this moment. It’s our time to shine.”

The potential inclusion of 4-Square Handball, a sport traditionally played during recess with a tennis ball and chalk-drawn squares, has sent shockwaves through the international sports community.

Critics argue that it lacks the sophistication and global reach of other sports, but Australians are quick to point out the rigorous skill and strategic planning required.

“Look, if breakdancing is in the Olympics I see no reason why we can’t include handball”

“Do they even know the level of precision required to let off the perfect slog shot?” Brett reminded The Advocate.

Many sporting officials have agreed that the inclusion of 4 square handball would be a huge boost to Australia’s gold medal tally.

“This game is more than just hitting a ball from one square to another, it’s a way of life for millions of Australian kids, handball to us  is what soccer is to Brazilian kids in the Favelas” Said Kerry Richards (72), a member of the Australian Olympic committee.

“It’s also way more inclusive than that weird European handball abomination they have there now”