ATO Say ALL G-Wagon Owners Are Being Audited This Year Because They Are ALL Dodgy

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Australian Taxation Office (ATO) has today confirmed that every single person driving a Mercedes-Benz G-Class will be audited in 2025, after years of mounting evidence that the luxury vehicles are exclusively purchased by people who are up to something.

In a statement issued this morning, the ATO said the time had come to “cut the scheiße” and admit what most Australians already knew, that there is no such thing as a legitimate G-Wagon owner.

“Look, if you’re driving one of these things in Australia, you’re either laundering money, dodging tax or pretending your online marketing business is a company,” said the ATO spokesperson.

“We’ve looked through decades of data and we couldn’t find a single clean case.”

The crackdown will see every G-Wagon driver subjected to full forensic audits, with a new taskforce being established to comb through shell companies, crypto holdings, and suspicious family trusts.

“We’re not talking about people who’ve done a little extra cashie on the side,” the spokesperson clarified.

“We’re talking about full-blown dodginess. Bikies, reality TV contestants and property developers who’ve the hide to expense a $400 000 car as a work vehicle.”

The ATO has already begun sending letters to G-Wagon owners, though most are reportedly difficult to track down as their residential addresses are listed under family friends, overseas corporations, or post office boxes in Dubai.

When asked whether this move unfairly stereotypes drivers of the iconic boxy SUV, the ATO was blunt.

“No. Because they are all dodgy. Every single one of them. We’ve got nothing against nice cars. Buy a LandCruiser like everyone else.”

More to come.