"Are Ye Takin The Piss Like" Says Coogee's Irish After Learning What January 26th Actually Celebrates

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Confusion and distress has crashed over certain Australian suburbs today, as the nation prepares for the first long weekend of the year.

From Coogee in Sydney, to St Kilda in Melbourne, to Brisbane's Woolloongabba, and literally all of Perth.

As the post-pandemic migration wave of Irish youth begin putting down roots and applying for permanent residency, they are starting to realise 'Australian Culture' isn't just beach parties and high-paying jobs in construction and nursing.

With all of the Irish now being directed by their employers and Australian friends to take January 26th off and celebrate the national day - questions are being asked about the significance of this date.

And as they are now learning, 'Australia Day' actually celebrates the arrival of those bastard Brits in Sydney.

"Are ye taken the piss like?" asks one concreter from Coogee, Cormac Corr (29).

"That sounds a bit arseways"

Local Prahran-based hospital orderly, Maeve O'Brien (23) shares the same reluctance.

"And everybody's grand with this?" she says.

"Ye, like, think it's good craic?"

As the Irish probably won't learn from the Australian media, or from their neighbours in the idyllic coastal enclaves, their guarded enthusiasm isn't exactly foreign.

For some people, the 26th of January is also viewed as a day on mourning. A time to reflect upon the systematic dispossession of our nation’s Indigenous people, starting from the day a foreign empire decided to plant a British flag on the pristine shores of Port Jackson.

"Might just stay home with a spice bag and watch Kath and Kim" says Róisín, (25, traffic controller, Gold Coast)

"I gotta tell you. I don't even think the Brits would celebrate their history like this"