Anxious About Global Events? You Should Try Drinking 7 Schooners With Your Mate That Thinks Iran Is In Africa

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Ever since the Black Summer bushfires of 2019, it feels as though Australians have been unable to shake this existential feeling that maybe things aren't okay.

However, there is one way of neutralising these nervous feelings that come with a non-stop stream of confronting imagery from war zones and natural disasters.

And it's a lot easier to do on a Friday afternoon.

With two years of unprecedented public health measures caused by a global pandemic, following by the subsequent cost-of-iving crisis, followed by a spate of shock foreign elections that gave way for a growing number of tyrannical authoritarian world leaders, which has eventually lead to an escalating war in the Middle East, which in turn has led to another cost-of-living crisis and major oil shortage.

Despite being on the other side of the world to all of this, Australians still cough every time the global powers sneeze.

It seems that even after electing a soft-cock as Prime Minister, twice, we still can't escape this feeling that World War 3 is imminent. And we all know would be pretty bad, because right now the whole planet needs to be focused on the challenges that humankind are being presented by AI and Climate Change.

There is no real manual on how to cope with anxiety in times of global crisis. If there was, we probably wouldn't be seeing such reactionary political shifts around the world.

If the unsettling stressors are coming from things on the news on TV - or your iPhone - you may feel compelled to digest every update. But it's worth remembering that this is a choice. As a random person based in far-flung country of 28 million in the Southern Hemisphere, there's not much you can do to change what's happening in what is still a regional conflict.

Instead, you should consider going to your favourite shit hole pub with your dumbest mate and drinking seven schooners.

You will definitely not regret drinking seven schooners with a moron that you love. Even if you find yourself dealing with a hangover tomorrow, it's definitely worth the 3-5 hours of complete insulation from current global events.

You can possibly invite others to join, but it's worth telling them that geopolitics is no-go zone, because your other mate thinks Iran is in African and it's important that everyone listens to him tell his most recent hilarious mishaps at work.

You could even have more than seven schooners. Fuck, you could skip dinner and go all night. Give it a try.