Anti-Plastic Radicalist Somehow Okay With 10-Year-Old Rust Covered Baking Tray

TRACEY BENDINGER | Society | Contact

33-year-old Grace Armour was just your normal run-of-the-mill supermarket-bought utensil user. That was before she became radicalised by an overzealous Chinese algorithm hellbent on educating her on the horrors of microplastics and forever chemicals.

It started with one TikTok about BPA, and now she’s being served 14 videos a day about how her Tupperware is a bio-sabotager for her endocrine system.

The Advocate understands that since becoming radicalised, Armour has thrown out her plastic egg flippers and ladles, and even switched to some kind of essential oil infused cleaning products which definitely don’t remove grime and grease in the same way as a classic chemical.

Friends close to Armour are dubious about her commitment to the cause though, after catching a glimpse at the brown and flaking trays in her kitchen.

“I mean… if she was really serious about not ingesting carcinogenic substances, don’t you think she’d be updating those 10-year-old rust-covered baking trays?”

“Surely eating rust 3 times a week is worse than flipping the odd egg with a plastic spatula?”

“Come to think of it, it’s pretty rank that she served us food off those trays…”

“Ew.”

More to come.