Angus Taylor Begins Wooing Disenfranchised Liberals Back With Dramatic Weight Gain And A New Red Bob

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The road back from electoral oblivion for the Liberals begins today in Albury as Opposition leader Angus Taylor hit the streets trying to woo disenfranchised Liberal voters back into the fold.

Sporting a new red bob, a gut with the same characteristics as an old medicine ball, and a liver that resembled a chewed raspberry, Taylor was seen shaking hands and respectfully acknowledging yobbos yelling at him from moving cars.

Many Albury locals said they were shocked by his new appearance and uncouth and vulgar remarks regarding Wodonga.

"You can see the capilararies in his nose expand and contract with each heartbeat," said one Smollett Street business owner.

"It's shocking. He was so handsome just a few weeks ago. I don't know what's happened to him."

Taylor was heard repeatedly referring to Wodonga residents as being "inbred" and "the fattest people he's ever seen" which upset one potential voter, who he then openly mocked and referred to as an "inbred fatso".

However, Liberal insiders have told The Advocate that Taylor's dramatic transformation was partly due to internal polling and focus group research.

But some have said it's simply a shameless attempt at winning protest voters back from One Nation.

"It's obvious what he's doing," said one Lavington pensioner.

"Pauline's hair, Barnaby's cirrhosis. It's quite a cheap imitation. First, they torpedo the thinking woman's Bridget McKenzie, now they pull this stunt? I can't see the Liberals retaining Farrer with this type of rubbish."

More to come.