“An Inheritance Tax Won’t Really Help Much In My Opinion,” Says Undercover Liberal Voter

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A self-described male feminist from our town’s French Quarter has suggested that maybe an inheritance tax wouldn’t be the best way to break down class and wealth barriers between Australians.

This man introduced himself as Franklin H. Grant and constantly referred to himself in the third person throughout the interview.

In a discussion amongst friends by candlelight the other night, the 24-year-old said people shouldn’t be punished for inheriting money – they should be punished for breaking laws.

“I just think interrupting the natural cycles of money with artificial laws like an inheritance tax is silly,” he said.

“Think of wealth like a river. Without a dam, everyone gets a drink. From man to animals and birds. Do you follow?”

Our reporter shook his head.

“Well, like. Have you been to college? I learned about this stuff at uni and school. I’m sorry to be rude but what ATAR did you get? I got a 92.50 and I barely even studied so maybe perhaps like my understanding transcends like what’s perceived in your own mind because you’re a newspaper reporter and like you’ve got to try to dig through the bullshit to find the story and like the truth, I guess. I don’t know, it’s hard to understand.”

When asked what his parents did for a living, Franklin H. Grant showed some suspiciously straight teeth and laughed.

“Bro, I don’t talk to my parents. They’re nouveau riche cunts.”

More to come.