All Blacks Fan In Chicago Makes Sure To Tells Locals That Auckland's Southside Is Way Rougher Bro

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An All Blacks supporter who travelled to Chicago earlier this week for the All Blacks Ireland clash reckons the south side of Chicago is nothing compared to the south side back home.

Damien Hurst (36), known for his aggressive insistence that New Zealand, one of the safest nations in the developed world, is actually rough as guts if you "know what's actually going on", was eager to follow his beloved national Rugby club to a rare North American clash.

While many foreigners are well aware of Chicago’s violent reputation and its homicide count that can climb towards 800 a year, Damien, like many Kiwis who come from a country that averages around 70 homicides annually, remains largely unfazed by the grim statistics.

"Ay bru this is nothing G! You should see some of the punch ups that happen outside the dairy in Papatoetoe!" Damien explained.

Local Chicagoans who met Damien outside Soldier Field reported that he spent most of the pre-match entertainment trying to convince locals that Otara at 2am made Chicago look like a preschool. 

Witnesses say he repeatedly asked if anyone had ever been to Manurewa after dark, while shaking his head like he had seen things he could not speak of, namely, a punch on at the skatepark that ended with a broken nose and a scooter being smashed over someone's head.

One local fan said Damien appeared disappointed that he made it through a full day in Chicago without being robbed, glassed or chased in what he described as "a pre game warm up"

Despite the American city statistically being more than 10 times deadly than his entire country combined, Damien remains confident that his often forgotten country is actually up there with the favelas of Brazil.