Alan Kohler Retires And Realises Lifelong Dream To Open Boutique Graph Shop In Charming Rural Village

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Financial journalist Alan Kohler has left the public broadcaster after thirty odd years to open a boutique graph shop in a nice country town not too far from Melbourne.

As this masthead rarely concerns itself with the affairs of so-called "regional Victoria", the specific location of the shop is currently unknown but it's understood that Kohler has already chosen a site and will begin trading as 'Kohler's Graphs' in the near future.

Kohler himself remained tight-lipped and ultimately refused to answer questions put to him by this masthead this morning but said retirement "offers a litany of opportunities."

Graphs and other visual data representations have become a mainstay of ABC finance segments presented by the septuagenerian Taurus, and represent a lifelong passion that will now be distilled in said boutique graph shop.

Insiders have said Kohler's exit from the public broadcaster comes at an interesting moment, as world markets continue grow on the stable foundation of AI and collapsing commodity prices and the local climate teeters on the brink of spontaneously combusting again like it did in 2019.

However, for Kohler, it's time to focus on more important things. Like graphs.

More to come.