Afternoon Absolutely Derailed By $8 Schooners

PETE CLARK | Melbourne | CONTACT

A Thursday afternoon that was set to be the pinnacle of productivity has been absolutely derailed by cheap piss.

In an all too familiar scenario, a young copywriter, Tommy Curren has plonked himself in the corner booth of his local watering hole with the intention of getting shit done.

To get the creative juices flowing, Curren ordered a cheeky arvo schooner for just $8.

After jotting down a few punchy sentences, Curren ordered another and then another, until he was certifiably pissed mid week in the early afternoon.

Speaking with the Advocate Mr Curren was not entirely shocked by his actions. 

“Yeh look, I’ve been here before,” he said rather jovially. 

“It starts off innocent, just one schooey to get the ball rolling and then before you know it you’re sloshed trying to see how much ChatGPT can salvage the work.”Having arrived at The Wombats Arms Hotel at 3PM, soaking up every second of the establishment's happy hour, Curren was nearing ready to call it quits. 

“This is tomorrow's problem now, no point trying to fight it.”

After soaking in the warmth of being mildly pissed in the glorious evening glow of daylight savings Curren momentarily felt satisfied with the little amount of work that he was able to achieve. 

With the working week nearly at a close and the festive season in full swing, he closed his laptop and ordered another schooey.

More to come.