“Yeah Mate, 2994 Grams And 50cm Long,” Reports New Dad Like He’s Talking About That Undersize Tuna He Kept One Time

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A French Quarter man has been doing the rounds this morning, calling friends and relatives to inform them that he’s had a child and that the child is healthy, and so is Mum.

All is good in David Chester’s world. The gifted amateur angler and one-time holder of a recreational fishing license has been caught describing his newborn son in a similar way in which he’d describe the handful of fish he’s caught in his short life.

The 33-year-old Keegan Mitsubishi sales executive was heard talking to a friend on the phone as he waited for his $6 filter coffee outside popular cafe Le Pisse Dans Ma Poche on Rue de Branlette.

“Yeah [laughs]. Bit undersize this one, but we’ll keep it [laughs],” he said.

“Nah, yeah, mate, yeah, nah. He was 2994 grams and about 50cm. I got the midwife to really stretch him out too. Yeah, nah, he’s pretty slight at the moment, but no doubt he’ll put it on and yeah, put some condition on, mate. Yeah, oh yeah, true, bunji, like he’ll be a proper beach ball by next winter, hey? Like he’ll be a treat, yeah.”

“Nah, yeah, she’s doing great, yeah. True. Yeah, yeah, true that, mate. Nah, it was natural, hey, so she should be up and about in no time, hey. Yeah, but thanks for asking, brother. I’ll pass along the congratulations and well wishes, but yeah, mate, we got to start planning the next golf trip [laughs]. Like Melbourne sand belt would be sick, but like we need to plan it out. Even the Goldie would be sick.”

“Anyway, bunj, I’ll speak to you later. The world’s most expensive plunger coffee I bought is here. Ok, true, OK, mate, yeah, nah. Righto, catch you soon, cheers.”

More to come.