WA Premier Mark McGowan Begins Carrying Rogue State’s Nuclear Launch Codes As Relations With East Break Down

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Premier of the Democratic People’s Republic Of West Australia (DPRWA) has begun carrying the hermit kingdom’s nuclear launch codes with him wherever he goes after relations with our continent’s east sink to an all-time low.

Earlier this week, the rogue state’s defacto leader Premier Mark McGowan slammed the “pig-headed” leaders of the Eastern States and the national media circus that followed now-Prime Minister Anthony Albanese on the election trail.

“They are very critical of our way of life,” Premier McGowan told reporters in Perth this morning.

“They want our glorious state to pay for their luxuries, such as silly Commonwealth Games and large infrastructure projects. Our mineral wealth is ours, it does not belong to some Victorian or New South Welshperson. We pay our fair share and they want us to pay even more. They want us to pay for everything,”

“They called us cave people. If they want our wealth, they can come and get it.”

Premier McGowan then opened his briefcase and invited the DPRWA media to take a look inside.

“This is the mobile nuclear defence system that I have started to carry with me at all times. In order to launch a defensive nuclear strike against the East, codes from myself and Governor For Life Kim Beazley need to input a pin, which will set in motion the launch of continental ballistic missiles,” he said.

“This isn’t a game to me. I will turn the Parliament House Press Gallery into a glass bowl.”

More to come.