Sydney’s Oxford Street To Host Thousands Of Real Life Cocaine Bears This Weekend

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

In a nice twist of events, it appears that life will imitate art this weekend, as thousands of cocaine bears are set to hit Sydney’s Oxford Street.

Josh Ellis [26], a Betoota Heights local that will be making the pilgrimage, tells The Advocate that he’s managed to book tickets to ‘at least three parties this weekend’, and that his understanding boss has also let him take the Monday off – also known as the unofficial gay public holiday.

With plans to focus his attention on Bondi, Surry Hills and Darlinghurst, Josh reports that his major goal, like many of the partiers, is to severely deplete his serotonin levels and find himself a hunky fella.

Locals have been warned to keep an ear out for any roars heard this Saturday but are assured that if they spot any of these bears rummaging into a bag, they’ll find they’re quite friendly and safe to approach.

More to come.