Supermarket Egg Shortage Linked To Major Spike Of Roid Rage Incidents In Nation’s Big Lifting Gyms

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

Steroid use has skyrocketed nationwide as Australia feels the brunt of the egg shortage crisis, with many supermarkets facing empty shelves this week.

This has forced the nation’s gym junkies to now get a bit more creative, as they lose one of their top sources of protein.

Speaking to a member at Betoota’s flagship bodybuilding gym, ‘Flex offenders’, The Advocate learns how the bird flu has disproportionately affected the gym community, who are now unable to get their hands on a third of their daily protein intake.

“I don’t think people realise how much this is affecting our gains”, says Steve, who reckons he’s been to every supermarket within a 20km radius of his house, “our community is really suffering.”

Steve says his body is now struggling to go from having at least five eggs a day, to going ‘cold turkey.’

Which isn’t even a meat he can get any protein from.

“I’m fucking sick of peanut butter dude. Yoghurt sucks ARSE and meat is fucking expensive.”

“I can handle a bit of bird flu.”

More to come.