Report Finds That Visiting A Winery Is Just The Adult Version Of Drinking UDLs In The Park

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A report conducted by the Department of Health has today discovered a surprising link between teenage drinking habits, and a weekend away activity popular amongst women in their mid to late twenties.

According to one of the researchers on this very short study, getting shitfaced with your mates at a scenic winery is really just a more expensive and socially acceptable version of drinking UDL’s in the park.

“It’s pretty much the same thing”, says Dr Kathryn Monroe, a leading researcher of alcohol trends, “just a bunch of mates looking at some greenery as they knock back too many drinks.’

“Except, instead of chowing down on a few boxes of Shapes, you have some nice cheese.”

Adding that a vineyard does also offers the option of having a photo of you riding a cute bike through the grapevines, Monroe reckons that even though the aesthetics of a wine tour are better, it can’t beat the rush of drunkenly shoving your mates into the nearest agapanthus bush, and worrying that every sound of a cracked twig is the sound of your parents – or the cops.

“And fucking around on a playground you’re far too big for.”

“Unforgettable.”

More to come.