Melbourne Agrees With Rich 78-Year-Old’s Assessment That Sydney City Is More Vibrant Than Victorian Capital

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The City of Melbourne has wholeheartedly agreed with the assessment made by Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore that the harbour city has a much more vibrant nightlife than the Victorian capital.

Cr Moore made the statement yesterday evening at a community forum in Sydney where she defended her right to seek another term despite being accused of being increasingly out-of-touch.

“Sydney has better laneways and small bars than Melbourne,” Moore said with a straight face.

“Because of me.”

Central Melbourne Chamber of Commerce president Wilson Pegg said he agreed.

“You know what, I agree,” said Pegg.

“If you’re someone like the Lord Mayor, the City of Sydney does have a more vibrant nightlife. Maybe a nice 5:30pm dinner, two glasses of free white wine at a gallery opening, maybe one cocktail at a bar later then it’s all over by 8pm. That is absolutely ideal if you’re extremely wealthy and in the same high school year as Bob Katter,”

“But if I was, you know, 25 and looking to have a good time, I’d probably think the City of Sydney is a nanny-state shithole full of rich Boomers from the North Shore who’ve downsized to city. Look at Sydney’s William Street. Linking the Cross and the City. Desolate, wind-swept shithole. Oxford Street is a shithole now. No shops, full of rubbish and tramps. Shithole. George Street would be the same if not for a state Liberal Government that shut it,”

“It’s a dump compared to Melbourne and anyone with a smooth forehead and good knees knows that. It’s time to let someone else have a go.”

More to come.