Junior Newscorp Content Pig Wonders If It’s All Worth It After Writing Just 10,000 People Marched Yesterday

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A young man employed on a tenuous enterprise agreement over at this masthead’s Newscorp-owned crosstown rival, The Betoota Bugle, has taken time to reflect this morning on where he’s at personally while riding the D45 electric trolley bus in to town.

Enjoying the mental peace that comes with being employed on rolling 6-month contracts in an industry with less life in it than a 15-year-old French Bulldog, junior content pig Greg Hunt (or ‘Gunt’ as The Bugle’s chief-of-staff openly refers to him as) received a rather distressing directive from the editorial executive this morning at the Monday WIP that said yesterday’s Gaza protest in Sydney was attended by 10 000 people, not the estimated 100 000 that walked over the Sydney Harbour Bridge and the additional 200 000 that assembled in the city.

As Hunt has a functioning brain that grants him rare privileges like critical thought and eyes that also work with the help of glasses, he knows that there were far more than 10 000 people there and that writing that number in a piece of content under the guise that it’s the true and correct figure makes him feel weird inside.

Hunt spoke briefly to The Advocate this morning in the smoking area of the Green Road McDonalds, where reporters from The Advocate meet with content pigs from The Bugle as it’s equidistant from both newsrooms. The smoking section has a similar function to Glienicke Bridge over the River Havel which once joined East and West Germany.

“You have to ask yourself in these situations, ‘Do I actually want to do this?'” he said.

“Because they’re paying me $59 000 a year. That’s not a lot of money really. And I’m not one to complain about being locked out of the housing market. Housing isn’t for everyone. Fuck, what am I even saying?”

“Maybe I should go to Award School this year? Or next year? Should I try to get into PR? Is that any better? Imagine doing PR for a property developer. Hey, come buy these shitbox off-the-plan apartments. Gentrify the Flight Path District. We don’t need a butcher, we need a Coles. But I can’t imagine copywriting is any better. Having to high-five people because we got the Coca Cola account. Great work everyone! Now, let’s sell Coke to kids! Give their pancreas as spankreas! We can make these little cunts life-long fat fucks if we get them hooked nice and early! Trust me, I know,”

“Oh well. I guess it’s good it’s making me jaded. Can I come and work for you? That’s all that’s needed, right?”

More to come.