Jamie Oliver Shocked To Learn That He Wrote A Kids Book

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Celebrity chef and international brand name Jamie Oliver reportedly learned this week that he authored a children’s book.

Oliver himself appeared bewildered to discover that he’d penned a 224-page tome aimed at educating youngsters, a fact revealed to him only the weird and outdated content was discussed on the internet.

The culinary mogul expressed his “surprise and a touch of regret” at the discovery, admitting he had “absolutely no clue” he’d been spending late nights drafting a tale for Aussie kids.

“I’m as thocked [sic] as anyone!” Oliver told a hastily arranged press conference as he bunged his trademark lisp on a bit.

“All I remember is thsigning some paperwork and being told I’d get a nice bwook cover out of it.”

The mystery book, apparently titled Billy and the Giant Adventure, faced backlash for including some eyebrow-raising stereotypes of Aboriginal Australians, with some critics suggesting it relied on “tired tropes.”

Oliver, looking genuinely stunned, quickly clarified that his role had been limited to signing a few dotted lines.

“This is the first I’m hearing about the content,” he said, genuinely wide-eyed.

“If I had known, I would’ve written it differently, uh, or whoever did this will be held responsible.”

At press time, Oliver assured fans he’d take a closer look at anything with his name slapped on it from now on.

“Pwease buy my swaucepans at Cowles!”

More to come.